Playful Preterism: A Dispensationalist in 70AD

 A thing of beauty!  This is some AI I can support.  

We need more and more of this concerning premillennialism, amillers and especially dispensationalism.

One More for the Road?

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

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Rene Descartes is relaxing late in the evening at his favorite local bar.  At last call, the bartender asks Rene if he'd like one more drink before they close it down for the night.  

Descartes considers for a moment and replies, " I think not.", and disappears.

Me-thinks there's a Problem

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

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A sign on the Episcopalian church building said:

"Bible study Wednesday at 7:00pm, bring your Bible and a pair of scissors."

Beer. Real Beer.

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

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Four brewery presidents walk into a bar.  The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey, senor, I would like the world's best beer; give me a Corona!".  The bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer the the world.  Give me 'The King of the Beers', a Budweiser."  The bartender handed it to him.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water.  Give me a Coors!"  He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Dr Pepper."  The bartender is a slightly taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why didn't you order a Guinness?"

The Guinness president replied, "Well, I figured if you-all weren't going to be drinking beer, I wouldn't either."

But will the Bulb get Changed?

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

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How many United Methodists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: "We believe that incandescent, fluorescent, tinted, or three-way are equally valid paths to light, and if, in your journey you have felt the need to change your lightbulb, we are holding a lightbulb service on Sun Day at which all are welcome (All means ALL!) to recite a poem with your pet or perform a dance of luminescence."

He had it Good, for Awhile

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

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A redneck swaggers into a bar.  

"Hey, barkeep, set me up with a cold one." he says. He begins to look around the bar and sees Someone who looks familiar down at the end of the bar.  He leans over and asks the bartender, "Hey, is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nods.  "Well, set him up with a cold one too!".

Soon enough Jesus gets up to leave, and as He does He walks over to the redneck, touches him, and says, "Thank you for the beverage; you are healed."

The redneck springs out of his chair and yells at Jesus, "DON'T TOUCH ME!  I'm drawing disability!"

Only an Apple between Them

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian were viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.  

The Brit said, "They appear so calm; they must be British."  

The Frenchman said, "Nonsense.  They are naked, and beautiful.  Clearly they are French."  

The Russian disagreed, "I don't think so.  They have no clothes, no shelter, they have only one apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise.  They're Russian."

It Can be a Problem... for Some of Us

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful and

cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the second attempts to screw it into a water faucet.

It's Tough all Over

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful

and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

Doctor:  "I have terrible news Mr. Larson: You have cancer and, unfortunately, you also have Alzheimer's."

Mr. Larson:  "Well, doctor, at least I don't have cancer!"

Let's not Dance, Okay?

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful 

and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

Why do Baptists object to fornication?

    -- They're afraid it might lead to dancing.

O those Baptists!

Sophisticated, classy jokes submitted in a refined, tasteful 

and cultivated manner for your genteel and discriminating enjoyment.

What's the difference between Baptists and Presbyterians?
         -- Baptists won't wave to you in the liquor store.